They're not all the same

The last hours I was again incredibly bored up here, not now understand why, embarked on a discussion of papers, letters, books and completed it already quite old diary. Year on its front page was in 2007 and we already have some three years. As I leafed so, not too long, on the date 2/12 was short note: Break with ... well, the now former (along with that, we were free months to 5 years), despite all the "trouble" I think life without wanting láskou.A, led me a few questions (for me ) to ponder. Yet long ago it is more than obvious that the two of us and will always remain just her and já.A why even in that time I can not forget ?! And even though it's been so long I do not want to be alone again I want to love and be loved. For all the time I found none that I could truly and deeply milovat.Je true that one such in my way solitude found only think of her I have a smile on his face which immediately turns to sadness that I had from nechalzmizet his life. Yet it also has its other side, I think it beneficial for me, and so that if asked myself: Why and what dokázalaokouzlit me what she had and the other not? Without hesitation, I know the answer. It's true I did not know her very long and frankly not very good and the prez's when I was with her, I knew what to do, what to say, how it closes, and it seemed like I had known her forever. (Maybe it is perhaps to question why?) On the outside was very beautiful but it was not major and ... it was pretty quite different to the first, but that any differences ends, because they were on the outside completely different inside it seemed as if it was one person. I mean character, intelligence, simply everything that could bymě napadnout.A this is what is my problem? That when I look at the girls want to find just a what was my first love? They are already mentioned three years and now how long I do not want to be alone. If I discuss the details and I'll need to "physical needs" those years ago back, I think there was some kind of regularity and that I was little. But now? Over the years back I could with complete peace of mind to say that what I was little over a month at this rate still catch up in a few years like fasting. When I think of why this is so even last long. It will probably sound strange and perhaps unbelievable, aletedy the explanation ... And this despite the fact that my little one uvěříJak I tried the whole act whatever it is I simply do not like concerned if there really do not love. If not, then it just me sick, and the whole it's nothing I can do and give everything that is in me. The only thing out of it, then I just have an uneasy feeling that I've done everything I could and should. I do not know about here Strange ... almost nobody me in this fails to understand that if it has to go just about sex rather forgive it. And if you wait to find some who will love me and I will love her. But slowly starting to lose hope that the world goes even a girl what would prove to be completely different than all those who meet last month, if not more years. It is now not find no one that he loves so only one and that his chosen and that you can be sure it will not be betrayed and disappointed? Naturally, if this is my request has chosen one can be sure that neither me anything such will not break. Probably it will now seem an incredible, like someone that's just squeezing but saying you're all like the ones through whom are all lumped. But I want to defend and I want him out! Let me give you the example of what happened to me at work with a female colleague. We go as a shopping center, I only say that she was a little girl deep neckline, which had just planned to take masters, well, how do we go suddenly utters "So he was either gay or I'm not his type." Discreetly I ask: Why? She replied: "He's the guy," And that's exactly it! He already mentioned the sack. Know it or not am very proud in the bag I do not belong! Although she miss, I'm not saying that it would look bad to have your pet at home I passed around her just obliviously as the man who had it as unnerved. Some might argue that as the dream looks doing anything wrong. Yes I would agree, is not doing anything wrong. I personally nothing in mind, why too, but I did not look. Should I head is full of just my sweetheart and I would not do it. Well, my view is that kind of partnership. I dare say, but not in the form of praise is that such a view as I do a lot of people (unfortunately) nemá.Je just that mine problem that I can not find the right one? That nowadays is the only true love in romantic films or red Library? If so I want my life to be in a movie that never ends.