Why is it so hard to get freaky when you have kids

I can't lie, it's hard to get some good "outside" sex. For five years now I've done nothing more than watch porn. Some stuff I've done and others more fantasy and or fetish. Last year I actually jumped on CL and that was a disaster. One reason mostly everyone lives too far to take the chance to travel and my hosting window is small in my mind. Then there's the fact people are odd and I'm looking for consensual sex, not a relationship in the sense of me leaving my woman and c***dren. Third the news last year here in Cincinnati had a story ot a local guy being murdered in DC and I knew how that happened before the news dropped the bomb that the guy was looking for sex. So yeah cold feet got the best of me.

With all that being said, I still would love to have a side life. Maybe an older couple with an oral hubby or a nice curvy woman who loves to be fisted. I don't know anymore. I've thought about traps and cross dresser but most of them either admit they're not passable or they don't leave the house dressed. Even then they'd have to be slutty. Maybe I missed my window to get one more freaky moment in life. At this point I'd be cool with being a voyuer and watched some hot sweaty sex.

Am I the only one I'm this situation? I envy open couples or couples who play together it's just I never knew how that worked. I may not be on the right sites or my free time is just to hard to work with. These are just questions from a horny freak looking to get something going.