The Best Divorce Letter Ever!!

Dear Wife, I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hell. ... Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone. Your EX-Husband P.S. don’t try to find me. Your sister & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life! —— Dear Ex-Husband Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY sister, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone.. Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care. Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free! P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem..
Got 2 luv this
发布者 chococlit
13 年 前
评论
13
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davidgfromsd
OMG that was awesome!!!
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karm775
karm775 4 年 前
well that better than your g/f wants to break up cause she is fucking your dad
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Silverbiguy
Silverbiguy 4 年 前
Brilliant 
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singleman62 8 年 前
I loved it, great story.
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jamesbond101069
jamesbond101069 9 年 前
lol
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nacious
nacious 11 年 前
HIS HAIR CUT MADE HIM LOOK LIKE A GIRL.. LOL
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thekidd101
thekidd101 12 年 前
havent smiled in a while but after reading this it made me feel alot better. you have a very good sense a humour. thanks 4 this read sweetness.
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chococlit
chococlit 出版商 13 年 前
Frankb07..glad u enjoyd
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frankb07 13 年 前
What a witty and oh-so clever piece. Nice stuff, very good. Left me with a huge grin.
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chococlit
chococlit 出版商 13 年 前
Well sum know all too well
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fitness247
fitness247 13 年 前
that letter is a damn shame. so much for attempting to work out your problems before puling the plug on marriage. live and learn the hard way.
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chococlit
chococlit 出版商 13 年 前
LMAO...
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curvedwonder
curvedwonder 13 年 前
lmfao wow I never heard someone whine so much welll yes i have. I see bigger and better things for you miss April. p.s. there's nothing like family ain't it!!!!!
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