Why am i still crying?

I'm not sure what the deal is here but I found myself balling like a baby earlier today. Why? Yea, sure I'm being as strong as I can be. It's not so much the break-up. It's knowing that he wanted to hurt me intentionally. He did all he could to make me miserable. He could not give us a clean break. He had to be mean and nasty. He resorted to name calling and so forth. He hurt me. How can a person do that to someone they were supposed to have loved? All I ever did was put up with his crap and try to do all he asked of me. Even though everything was always my fault. I suffered with him and he made sure to make me suffer even more when he left. I loved him. Controlling or not. But I fell for it, all of his lies. I feel everything was all a lie. It's hard to accept.