All the things weve heard
Truth isnt always stranger than fiction.
More finger vomit from yours truly Julia Kat.
"if Im purring Im happy".
I was reading through my comments the other day,when xham allowed me in for a change instead of the usual 503 welcome when Ive been locked out again (Im guessing we are in for a cull again),and I read a comment that was so erotic,so well written and well just so hot that I had to give myself a treat.
.....and then another.
But that was it as I had torn my minidress again on the stupid chair so its out with the sewing box again.
Well that post got me thinking....yes I do think sometimes cheekychops,yes it hurts and no I dont do it too often as thats how you get nose bleeds.But I thought I would do a post about all the things weve been told over the years as Im sure most of us have all heard them before many times.
I will also include a translation for what they REALLY mean,should there be anyone who doesnt know,not that there would be but there could be some unknown tribe in the Amazon rain forest yet untouched by man that might not know what they all really mean.I will also include notes if I think of anything to add.
So its nostalga time as we all go back in time to when we were younger and people thought we would believe anything what they said lol.
In no particular order then.......
This one is from one of Bendee555 posts so full credit to them and a big thank you for the inspiration-
"I will tell your friends and sister if you dont"
Translation
"I want you to suck me and my friends off please".
Notes
Check out Bendee555 comment on my blog,its seriously hot and Im sooooooooooo jealous it wasnt me.Oh well.
So that got me started,so heres some of the total scallops I was told and expected to believe.First up,junior school times-
1."if its up your bum it doesnt count"
Translation-
"please dont tell anyone what we do to you as really we should be being investigated by several different police forces".
Notes.
That was the very first thing I was told.Weirdly I believed it well into my teens.As girls pussies where hallowed,anything done to one of those mattered and meant a huge deal.But bums were open to all and sundry.That I was told when I was finger banged on the swings in the park.Well it wasnt a park,we called it that,it was just a field with a swingset,a slide that had potruded rusty bolts that would rip open any and all limbs,and a roundabout,or "death roundabout" as it was known as someone fell off it once and broke his arm,ever since then it was known as death roundabout.
Anyway that was my intro to the weird and wonderful world of anal.I had the last laugh though as Im sure they didnt know I was a boy hehe.Plus I think I may have to go through my old blog posts,as I had thought all this started in the first year of junior school,which it did.But....I thought I was about 9 then,but I found an old picture during my house move,and its dated,and yes there I am,and oh dear,I was 7 not 9.Yikes.I knew I started young,but not that young.Arrrgh!What a trollop!
2."its good for your skin"
Translation
"we want to come on your face then watch you rub it in"
Notes.
Yep here are the older boys at school and heres yet more of the cobblers they came out with and btw its not good for your skin it dries it out.....
3."anyway no biggy,Its good for your hair"
Translation
"Ive come on your hair without you knowing"
Notes.
Yep unknown to me one of them had come on the back of my hair,and I had longish blond hair so had no idea I was sat in class with cum all in my hair.But at least I then knew what everyone was giggling at.And btw,it isnt good for your hair,its a cow to brush out after its dried.
4."Its how you get your vitamin D"
Translation
"we want to cum in your mouth and watch you swallow it".
Notes
Its not how you get your vitamins,but you do start to get a reputation,not quite the same thing is it.
5."well you got us going so youve got to finish us off"
Translation
"be a darling and wank us all off please,thank you ever so much my dear"
6."your mess,you made it youve got to clean it up"
Translation
"would you be a doll and please lick our cocks clean,thanks awfully"
7."oh come on we wont tell"
Translation
"would you be so good as to put on a little sex show for us all while we wank off over you,and then we will ofcourse go and tell everyone of all the pervy things you do,we will leave school,and dedicate our lives to travelling the world in search of long lost tribes in far away lands just to tell them too and never rest for even a moment untill we have told every living soul on the earth"
Notes
I wonder if this is how I sort of got a reputation of sorts hmmm nah,I was popular thats all hehe.
8."Its supposed to hurt"
Translation
"It will hurt"
Notes
It did.
Moving up to the high school,things didnt change much......
9."Come on,everyone else does it"
Translation
"no one in the history of mankind has ever thought of it,dreamt it let alone done it,but we would love you to do it for us anyway".
Notes
There is another alternative translation for this,from old Norse it would be "you wont be able to sit down for a couple of days afterwards thats for sure".I had to tell my mom I had sat on a nail and thats why I couldnt sit down for a couple of days.
10."dont be boring"
Translation
"please shove this 12 inch steel rod down your cock and all these other really pervy things weve come up with while we watch you ,thanks awfully"
Notes
Casualty was only three miles away,so you know....bonus.
11."its only the same as lucosade"
Translation
"please drink our pee"
Notes
It isnt the same.Not even close.Not even a little.No,nope no way is it the same or even slightly like it.
Lucasade is far worse.
12."I like you"
Translation
"Can I have a free handjob and/or gobble please"
13."I really like you"
Translation
"Can I have a free handjob please while I finger you senseless,much obliged my little swamp duckling".
14."Can I see you again"
Translation
"I would like you to do even more pervy things for me,and dont worrry I will never see you again"
15."Ofcoures I will see you again"
Translation
"Ofcourse I wont see you again"
And after being expelled from school it doesnt stop there,as we go out into the world it continues....
16."Oh come on you do it with him"
Translation
"I would like you to do pervy things for me too please.I do know I have the charm witt and personal hygene of a swamp and the personality of a dogs arse,but I would still like you to drop your drawers,as for some reason unbeknown to me I feel you have no standards"
Notes
I do have standards,they just vary dependant on randyness and volume of beer consumed thats all.And btw I dont know why Im numbering them,its not like I know how many there are.Anyway....
17."I said,crossdressing is wrong"
Translation
"I would love to spend the next 2 to 3 minutes picking my teeth up off the floor"
Notes
Again it could also be translated if coming from Aramaic to read "I love hospital food so much I would be eternally gratefull if you could arrange for me to spend the next four to seven nights in ward A2,as it has lovely views accross the valley".
18."I can stay over if you like"
Translation
"As soon as I cum in you there will be a 'me' shaped hole in your door I will have legged it so fast"
Notes
When whining on about this to my nan once about folks having their way then legging it leaving me feeling a bit used or something,my nan who was the wisest women in the world,her flat pan response was just "yes but would you want your bed filled with foreign farts?".
After I thought about that,yep she was right ofcourse,I wouldnt want my lovely clean bed filled with someone elses farts.So it is better they leg it soon as,and anyway they would only want me to cook them breakfast as well or something.Plus me first thing in a morning.......yikes.Its not pretty.Not pretty at all.And worse,its not very sociable!Well not till have had several coffees and fags.
Just go on youtube and search for grown man screams for twenty minutes to see the reaction I would get first thing in a morning!
19."Its only the same as cum"
Translation
"Ive just pee'd in you"
Notes.
Great.Like thats going to stop up there for long.I supose "makes a good toilet" is going on my resume then.And no,its not the same as cum,cum isnt a boiling hot inside us,and cum stays up there for ages,pee doesnt.And neither does cum make your belly swell or make your throat a bit sore.
20."Why dont we try a bit of bondage"
Translation
"I want to whip you"
21."Ofcourse I wont drive off and leave you"
Translation
"Ofcourse I will drive off and leave you half naked at the side of the road"
Notes
Another one that likes hospital food hehe
22."You really are weird"
Translation
"Ive been totally out perved!"
Notes.
Cant out perv a cd.Fact.Although women do come awfully close,especially the shy quiet ones.
23."Hi can I buy you a drink"
Translation
"Hi can I have sex with you and never see you again"
24."Sorry mate I thought you were somebody else"
Translation
"I have been perving over you for some hours now,finally got the courage to come over and talk to you,but your mates have just fallen about laughing and have stated you are in fact male,so if you will excuse me I will bid you a good evening,and will go sit in the darkest corner of the pub while I re examine my sexuality for some hours to come"
Notes
I could have got some if it wasnt for my stupid mates.I despair sometimes.And it wasnt the only time,its happened a few times the little sods.
25."Are you single"
Translation
"Can I have sex with you"
Notes
Probably.Again,its dependant on randyness,and amount of beer consumed.
26."You can take it"
Translation
"No I cant but I just did!"
Notes.
Dont worry,if youve just been busted wide open dont panic,it will return to normal.Even if its like waving a wand around in the Albert hall,it WILL return back to normal after a few days or weeks.Remember,your holes will always adapt.So you can train your holes up,or down to your hearts desire,however you like them to be.Your holes,so you can have them how you like them to be.
Im sure theres millions more and I would love to hear what youve been told over the years.Funnily,now with advanced old age all these things we used to hear seemed to have stopped.Im guessing its becouse they know weve been round the block a few times so wont fall for it like we once did.
Oh to be young and daft again........or better still to go back knowing what we know now!Ooooooooh I like that idea.
Julia Kat.x
Ps next blog post is "Anal training day",or "Saturday" as most of you will know it.Or......I may share New Years Eve fancy dress fun and games,as I need to have a dig at so called mates abusing my gorgeous bunny girl outfit.
I still havent got my ears back!
More finger vomit from yours truly Julia Kat.
"if Im purring Im happy".
I was reading through my comments the other day,when xham allowed me in for a change instead of the usual 503 welcome when Ive been locked out again (Im guessing we are in for a cull again),and I read a comment that was so erotic,so well written and well just so hot that I had to give myself a treat.
.....and then another.
But that was it as I had torn my minidress again on the stupid chair so its out with the sewing box again.
Well that post got me thinking....yes I do think sometimes cheekychops,yes it hurts and no I dont do it too often as thats how you get nose bleeds.But I thought I would do a post about all the things weve been told over the years as Im sure most of us have all heard them before many times.
I will also include a translation for what they REALLY mean,should there be anyone who doesnt know,not that there would be but there could be some unknown tribe in the Amazon rain forest yet untouched by man that might not know what they all really mean.I will also include notes if I think of anything to add.
So its nostalga time as we all go back in time to when we were younger and people thought we would believe anything what they said lol.
In no particular order then.......
This one is from one of Bendee555 posts so full credit to them and a big thank you for the inspiration-
"I will tell your friends and sister if you dont"
Translation
"I want you to suck me and my friends off please".
Notes
Check out Bendee555 comment on my blog,its seriously hot and Im sooooooooooo jealous it wasnt me.Oh well.
So that got me started,so heres some of the total scallops I was told and expected to believe.First up,junior school times-
1."if its up your bum it doesnt count"
Translation-
"please dont tell anyone what we do to you as really we should be being investigated by several different police forces".
Notes.
That was the very first thing I was told.Weirdly I believed it well into my teens.As girls pussies where hallowed,anything done to one of those mattered and meant a huge deal.But bums were open to all and sundry.That I was told when I was finger banged on the swings in the park.Well it wasnt a park,we called it that,it was just a field with a swingset,a slide that had potruded rusty bolts that would rip open any and all limbs,and a roundabout,or "death roundabout" as it was known as someone fell off it once and broke his arm,ever since then it was known as death roundabout.
Anyway that was my intro to the weird and wonderful world of anal.I had the last laugh though as Im sure they didnt know I was a boy hehe.Plus I think I may have to go through my old blog posts,as I had thought all this started in the first year of junior school,which it did.But....I thought I was about 9 then,but I found an old picture during my house move,and its dated,and yes there I am,and oh dear,I was 7 not 9.Yikes.I knew I started young,but not that young.Arrrgh!What a trollop!
2."its good for your skin"
Translation
"we want to come on your face then watch you rub it in"
Notes.
Yep here are the older boys at school and heres yet more of the cobblers they came out with and btw its not good for your skin it dries it out.....
3."anyway no biggy,Its good for your hair"
Translation
"Ive come on your hair without you knowing"
Notes.
Yep unknown to me one of them had come on the back of my hair,and I had longish blond hair so had no idea I was sat in class with cum all in my hair.But at least I then knew what everyone was giggling at.And btw,it isnt good for your hair,its a cow to brush out after its dried.
4."Its how you get your vitamin D"
Translation
"we want to cum in your mouth and watch you swallow it".
Notes
Its not how you get your vitamins,but you do start to get a reputation,not quite the same thing is it.
5."well you got us going so youve got to finish us off"
Translation
"be a darling and wank us all off please,thank you ever so much my dear"
6."your mess,you made it youve got to clean it up"
Translation
"would you be a doll and please lick our cocks clean,thanks awfully"
7."oh come on we wont tell"
Translation
"would you be so good as to put on a little sex show for us all while we wank off over you,and then we will ofcourse go and tell everyone of all the pervy things you do,we will leave school,and dedicate our lives to travelling the world in search of long lost tribes in far away lands just to tell them too and never rest for even a moment untill we have told every living soul on the earth"
Notes
I wonder if this is how I sort of got a reputation of sorts hmmm nah,I was popular thats all hehe.
8."Its supposed to hurt"
Translation
"It will hurt"
Notes
It did.
Moving up to the high school,things didnt change much......
9."Come on,everyone else does it"
Translation
"no one in the history of mankind has ever thought of it,dreamt it let alone done it,but we would love you to do it for us anyway".
Notes
There is another alternative translation for this,from old Norse it would be "you wont be able to sit down for a couple of days afterwards thats for sure".I had to tell my mom I had sat on a nail and thats why I couldnt sit down for a couple of days.
10."dont be boring"
Translation
"please shove this 12 inch steel rod down your cock and all these other really pervy things weve come up with while we watch you ,thanks awfully"
Notes
Casualty was only three miles away,so you know....bonus.
11."its only the same as lucosade"
Translation
"please drink our pee"
Notes
It isnt the same.Not even close.Not even a little.No,nope no way is it the same or even slightly like it.
Lucasade is far worse.
12."I like you"
Translation
"Can I have a free handjob and/or gobble please"
13."I really like you"
Translation
"Can I have a free handjob please while I finger you senseless,much obliged my little swamp duckling".
14."Can I see you again"
Translation
"I would like you to do even more pervy things for me,and dont worrry I will never see you again"
15."Ofcoures I will see you again"
Translation
"Ofcourse I wont see you again"
And after being expelled from school it doesnt stop there,as we go out into the world it continues....
16."Oh come on you do it with him"
Translation
"I would like you to do pervy things for me too please.I do know I have the charm witt and personal hygene of a swamp and the personality of a dogs arse,but I would still like you to drop your drawers,as for some reason unbeknown to me I feel you have no standards"
Notes
I do have standards,they just vary dependant on randyness and volume of beer consumed thats all.And btw I dont know why Im numbering them,its not like I know how many there are.Anyway....
17."I said,crossdressing is wrong"
Translation
"I would love to spend the next 2 to 3 minutes picking my teeth up off the floor"
Notes
Again it could also be translated if coming from Aramaic to read "I love hospital food so much I would be eternally gratefull if you could arrange for me to spend the next four to seven nights in ward A2,as it has lovely views accross the valley".
18."I can stay over if you like"
Translation
"As soon as I cum in you there will be a 'me' shaped hole in your door I will have legged it so fast"
Notes
When whining on about this to my nan once about folks having their way then legging it leaving me feeling a bit used or something,my nan who was the wisest women in the world,her flat pan response was just "yes but would you want your bed filled with foreign farts?".
After I thought about that,yep she was right ofcourse,I wouldnt want my lovely clean bed filled with someone elses farts.So it is better they leg it soon as,and anyway they would only want me to cook them breakfast as well or something.Plus me first thing in a morning.......yikes.Its not pretty.Not pretty at all.And worse,its not very sociable!Well not till have had several coffees and fags.
Just go on youtube and search for grown man screams for twenty minutes to see the reaction I would get first thing in a morning!
19."Its only the same as cum"
Translation
"Ive just pee'd in you"
Notes.
Great.Like thats going to stop up there for long.I supose "makes a good toilet" is going on my resume then.And no,its not the same as cum,cum isnt a boiling hot inside us,and cum stays up there for ages,pee doesnt.And neither does cum make your belly swell or make your throat a bit sore.
20."Why dont we try a bit of bondage"
Translation
"I want to whip you"
21."Ofcourse I wont drive off and leave you"
Translation
"Ofcourse I will drive off and leave you half naked at the side of the road"
Notes
Another one that likes hospital food hehe
22."You really are weird"
Translation
"Ive been totally out perved!"
Notes.
Cant out perv a cd.Fact.Although women do come awfully close,especially the shy quiet ones.
23."Hi can I buy you a drink"
Translation
"Hi can I have sex with you and never see you again"
24."Sorry mate I thought you were somebody else"
Translation
"I have been perving over you for some hours now,finally got the courage to come over and talk to you,but your mates have just fallen about laughing and have stated you are in fact male,so if you will excuse me I will bid you a good evening,and will go sit in the darkest corner of the pub while I re examine my sexuality for some hours to come"
Notes
I could have got some if it wasnt for my stupid mates.I despair sometimes.And it wasnt the only time,its happened a few times the little sods.
25."Are you single"
Translation
"Can I have sex with you"
Notes
Probably.Again,its dependant on randyness,and amount of beer consumed.
26."You can take it"
Translation
"No I cant but I just did!"
Notes.
Dont worry,if youve just been busted wide open dont panic,it will return to normal.Even if its like waving a wand around in the Albert hall,it WILL return back to normal after a few days or weeks.Remember,your holes will always adapt.So you can train your holes up,or down to your hearts desire,however you like them to be.Your holes,so you can have them how you like them to be.
Im sure theres millions more and I would love to hear what youve been told over the years.Funnily,now with advanced old age all these things we used to hear seemed to have stopped.Im guessing its becouse they know weve been round the block a few times so wont fall for it like we once did.
Oh to be young and daft again........or better still to go back knowing what we know now!Ooooooooh I like that idea.
Julia Kat.x
Ps next blog post is "Anal training day",or "Saturday" as most of you will know it.Or......I may share New Years Eve fancy dress fun and games,as I need to have a dig at so called mates abusing my gorgeous bunny girl outfit.
I still havent got my ears back!
2 年 前
A montego?Restore it to what?!It was a terrible car brand new!As they say....you cant polish a turd.