Pornosexual Relapse
Finally back to my hotel from work. I am a remote paramedic, so I spend the entirety of my days alone inside an idling truck while work happens somewhere around me. Unless something happens which requires my kind of attention, I am absolutely free to do whatever I want. I have a fairly decent gaming laptop, so I watch shows, movies, education stuff, read, play games, and of course, pornography.
For the vast majority of my work days I abstain from the risk of consuming porn at work. It is possible, even if remotely, that someone could approach my truck from an angle I hadn't been paying attention to at the time. For instance, one time at work I had stayed in the field an hour past the last check-out (I keep track of who is on the project so nobody gets left behind), so I figured I was in the clear. However, one person that had checked out earlier via radio had stayed in the field to work on their machine. I had my laptop open perched on the space between the windshield at the trucks console/steering wheel. My pants were down around my ankles, I was leaned way back, cock out, watching pornography. Suddenly I saw headlights coming into view at short range, so I pulled the laptop down and placed it on my lap, covering my groin. I didn't have the time necessary to pull my pants up however. The machine operator pulled up to have a totally friendly co-worker chat about this or that. So there I am, with his driver side window down, same as me, feet apart. I couldn't get the video to stop making noise, so I just had enough time to mute all audio via keyboard. Just. In. Time.
Today, I couldn't resist. Just had to look at porn, which led me to my last post. I was so porn hungry today that I risked my job for my addiction. The very thought arouses me--that my 35 years of porn addiction have led me to this incredible space where I just get to be who I've always been all along: an extreme porn addict.
The project is done, so I can stay up as late as I want tonight. Knowing that it was over had me lusting for porn all day because it means that now, at the first possible moment where sleeping isn't a factor, I am going to have a pornographic edge all night long.
No longer want to quit. I live for porn. I couldn't really stop even if my soul depended on it.
For the vast majority of my work days I abstain from the risk of consuming porn at work. It is possible, even if remotely, that someone could approach my truck from an angle I hadn't been paying attention to at the time. For instance, one time at work I had stayed in the field an hour past the last check-out (I keep track of who is on the project so nobody gets left behind), so I figured I was in the clear. However, one person that had checked out earlier via radio had stayed in the field to work on their machine. I had my laptop open perched on the space between the windshield at the trucks console/steering wheel. My pants were down around my ankles, I was leaned way back, cock out, watching pornography. Suddenly I saw headlights coming into view at short range, so I pulled the laptop down and placed it on my lap, covering my groin. I didn't have the time necessary to pull my pants up however. The machine operator pulled up to have a totally friendly co-worker chat about this or that. So there I am, with his driver side window down, same as me, feet apart. I couldn't get the video to stop making noise, so I just had enough time to mute all audio via keyboard. Just. In. Time.
Today, I couldn't resist. Just had to look at porn, which led me to my last post. I was so porn hungry today that I risked my job for my addiction. The very thought arouses me--that my 35 years of porn addiction have led me to this incredible space where I just get to be who I've always been all along: an extreme porn addict.
The project is done, so I can stay up as late as I want tonight. Knowing that it was over had me lusting for porn all day because it means that now, at the first possible moment where sleeping isn't a factor, I am going to have a pornographic edge all night long.
No longer want to quit. I live for porn. I couldn't really stop even if my soul depended on it.
1 年 前