No Substitute for Experience
Let's face it, don't you feel better about getting on board an airplane that has a pilot with a gray head of hair like he's been doing the job for a long time? How different would you feel about the pilot being young and only a few weeks removed from his internship? You probably still would get on that plane but you'd be a lot more nervous about the guy's lack of flight time. Experience matters in most professions.
Here's my point. For a dominatrix, training and experience are especially important not only for the enjoyment of the client, but also for his/her safety. I cringe when I see an ad or a profile from a barely legal 18 year-old woman claiming to be a pro Domme. It's one thing to dress up in Femdom attire and wield a whip in a photo. It's entirely different knowing how to use it effectively and safely. Scheduling a session with someone this young is the equivalent of taking your car to a jr. high shop class for a brake job. Not smart and not safe.
I'm not suggesting that young women shouldn't explore this vocation, but there's a lot more to it than just smacking around a dude for $300 a session. The best dominatricies I know are lifers and live and breathe their work. They have good equipment, they read extensively, most have had a mentor at one time or another, and some even attend professional conferences. They've built their clientele over time and are selective about who they will see. They consult with their clients, they have a good grasp of submissive psychology, and the first time they see a client they take it slow. Above all, they NEVER have sex with their clients and they maintain their confidentiality and trust.
So what does age have to do with experience? A lot. I suppose if someone started very young and aligned herself with a good mentor for a few years, maybe I'd trust a dominatrix in her early twenties....but those are rare cases. For the most part young dominatricies are financially motivated, and do what they do for cash. For me, that's a huge turnoff. I have to know that she enjoys her work for it to be pleasurable for me. The money part is ancillary, a tribute of respect and appreciation if you will. It's a way of saying "thank you" for a job well done.
The internet has made it relatively easy to research the background of a dominatrix. Any credible dominatrix is going to have a website or at least a detailed profile page on a dating site. Some advertise on craigslist, and I've found most to be legitimate; however, it takes monitoring to be sure you're not just hiring a hooker with a whip. The real Dommes don't suddenly pop up on an ad and then go away. They're constantly updating their photos and information. For me a red flag is when the pictures don't show a face. That means the poster is concerned about family or friends finding out. For the most part pros don't hide from who the are. The best ones are well reviewed, and some include those reviews on their websites. The problem is that most men (sub or Dom) are visually stimulated, and that's why so many don't do their homework. They see a picture and book a session without doing their due diligence and doing some background checking.
...and the best dominatracies are going to check you out, too. Be prepared to show an ID and submit to an internet search. Some require identity verification via webcam. They want to avoid creeps just like you want to avoid a crazy bitch who's going to put you in the hospital. Quid pro quo.
I'm sharing these thoughts because I have seen many dominatrices in my life. I've had some amazing experiences, and I've also had my share of fiascos. The worst one was when I naively let myself to be tied up in a hotel room, and then the so-called Domme took my wallet and left me there to struggle for the next three hours trying to free myself. She was about 19 and when she arrived the first thing I noticed was that she didn't look like her picture. When I finally was able to free myself, I went to check her ad to see if I could get my ID and credit cards back, but of course the ad had been immediately taken down. You live, you learn.
So let's cut to the chase. For submissive men seeking the services of dominatrix, look for the signs of professionalism and experience rather than the hot photo. Do your due diligence and don't be in a hurry to book a session.
For young aspiring dominatrices give the profession the respect that it deserves. Find an experienced Domme that you respect who can train and mentor you in the BDSM arts. The sooner you know what you are doing, the sooner you'll gain credibility. Like most professions, the money will come as your experience and professional reputation grows.
Here's my point. For a dominatrix, training and experience are especially important not only for the enjoyment of the client, but also for his/her safety. I cringe when I see an ad or a profile from a barely legal 18 year-old woman claiming to be a pro Domme. It's one thing to dress up in Femdom attire and wield a whip in a photo. It's entirely different knowing how to use it effectively and safely. Scheduling a session with someone this young is the equivalent of taking your car to a jr. high shop class for a brake job. Not smart and not safe.
I'm not suggesting that young women shouldn't explore this vocation, but there's a lot more to it than just smacking around a dude for $300 a session. The best dominatricies I know are lifers and live and breathe their work. They have good equipment, they read extensively, most have had a mentor at one time or another, and some even attend professional conferences. They've built their clientele over time and are selective about who they will see. They consult with their clients, they have a good grasp of submissive psychology, and the first time they see a client they take it slow. Above all, they NEVER have sex with their clients and they maintain their confidentiality and trust.
So what does age have to do with experience? A lot. I suppose if someone started very young and aligned herself with a good mentor for a few years, maybe I'd trust a dominatrix in her early twenties....but those are rare cases. For the most part young dominatricies are financially motivated, and do what they do for cash. For me, that's a huge turnoff. I have to know that she enjoys her work for it to be pleasurable for me. The money part is ancillary, a tribute of respect and appreciation if you will. It's a way of saying "thank you" for a job well done.
The internet has made it relatively easy to research the background of a dominatrix. Any credible dominatrix is going to have a website or at least a detailed profile page on a dating site. Some advertise on craigslist, and I've found most to be legitimate; however, it takes monitoring to be sure you're not just hiring a hooker with a whip. The real Dommes don't suddenly pop up on an ad and then go away. They're constantly updating their photos and information. For me a red flag is when the pictures don't show a face. That means the poster is concerned about family or friends finding out. For the most part pros don't hide from who the are. The best ones are well reviewed, and some include those reviews on their websites. The problem is that most men (sub or Dom) are visually stimulated, and that's why so many don't do their homework. They see a picture and book a session without doing their due diligence and doing some background checking.
...and the best dominatracies are going to check you out, too. Be prepared to show an ID and submit to an internet search. Some require identity verification via webcam. They want to avoid creeps just like you want to avoid a crazy bitch who's going to put you in the hospital. Quid pro quo.
I'm sharing these thoughts because I have seen many dominatrices in my life. I've had some amazing experiences, and I've also had my share of fiascos. The worst one was when I naively let myself to be tied up in a hotel room, and then the so-called Domme took my wallet and left me there to struggle for the next three hours trying to free myself. She was about 19 and when she arrived the first thing I noticed was that she didn't look like her picture. When I finally was able to free myself, I went to check her ad to see if I could get my ID and credit cards back, but of course the ad had been immediately taken down. You live, you learn.
So let's cut to the chase. For submissive men seeking the services of dominatrix, look for the signs of professionalism and experience rather than the hot photo. Do your due diligence and don't be in a hurry to book a session.
For young aspiring dominatrices give the profession the respect that it deserves. Find an experienced Domme that you respect who can train and mentor you in the BDSM arts. The sooner you know what you are doing, the sooner you'll gain credibility. Like most professions, the money will come as your experience and professional reputation grows.
9 年 前
