Dr Dick and the bed pan
Working in a teaching hospital associated with USA Medical School, we were frequently subjected to USA Medical Students on their clinical rotations. We also worked with medical students from less well-known medical schools in the country. Most of those "lesser" medical students were wonderful to work with, but the students from USA were often a little out of touch with the realities of life on the Med/Surg floor.
One day when we were particularly short staffed and slammed with admissions and discharges, a USA iv (or fourth year medical student from USA Medical School) showed up to practice doing admissions and assessments. We were instructed to call him "doctor" and to refer to him to the patients as "Dr. Dick." (I don't remember what his actual name was, so "Dick" will do fine.) The patient was a little old lady who had been on the floor for a month so she was well versed in USA iv's and their "practicing medicine" on her person. We'll call her "Maybell" because that was (to my recollection) her name, and she's been gone for about four years now so is unlikely to read this post.
Dr. Dick was in Maybell's room with the curtains pulled and the (brand new) door closed for an awful long time -- so long that I, as busy as a one-legged man in a butt kicking contest, had forgotten he was even in there. I was peacefully engaged paper work Dr. Dick came FLYING out of Maybell's room, waving a bedpan and shrieking in an earsplitting imitation of an over-caffienated eight year old "She's gotta pee, she's gotta pee!" He came to rest directly in front of me, fixating on my "RN" badge as if I could save him from destruction.
"OK," I said.
"Well what should I do?" He had probably gathered that I wasn't fixing to rescue him from his conundrum.
"Give her the bedpan," I said as calmly as I could muster, with my pounding headache, my bulging bladder and my empty stomach.
I thought I had heard the dumbest thing I'd ever heard out of the mouth of Dr. Dick when he then asked me, "Well where is it?"
"It's in your left hand," I told him, and watched while he lowered the hand holding the bedpan from where he had been waving it over is head and stared at the object in question.
"Oh," he said in his best "the light just dawned" manner. And then he said an even dumber thing.
"Where do I put it?"
Well you're the USA iv; where do you think you put it?
One day when we were particularly short staffed and slammed with admissions and discharges, a USA iv (or fourth year medical student from USA Medical School) showed up to practice doing admissions and assessments. We were instructed to call him "doctor" and to refer to him to the patients as "Dr. Dick." (I don't remember what his actual name was, so "Dick" will do fine.) The patient was a little old lady who had been on the floor for a month so she was well versed in USA iv's and their "practicing medicine" on her person. We'll call her "Maybell" because that was (to my recollection) her name, and she's been gone for about four years now so is unlikely to read this post.
Dr. Dick was in Maybell's room with the curtains pulled and the (brand new) door closed for an awful long time -- so long that I, as busy as a one-legged man in a butt kicking contest, had forgotten he was even in there. I was peacefully engaged paper work Dr. Dick came FLYING out of Maybell's room, waving a bedpan and shrieking in an earsplitting imitation of an over-caffienated eight year old "She's gotta pee, she's gotta pee!" He came to rest directly in front of me, fixating on my "RN" badge as if I could save him from destruction.
"OK," I said.
"Well what should I do?" He had probably gathered that I wasn't fixing to rescue him from his conundrum.
"Give her the bedpan," I said as calmly as I could muster, with my pounding headache, my bulging bladder and my empty stomach.
I thought I had heard the dumbest thing I'd ever heard out of the mouth of Dr. Dick when he then asked me, "Well where is it?"
"It's in your left hand," I told him, and watched while he lowered the hand holding the bedpan from where he had been waving it over is head and stared at the object in question.
"Oh," he said in his best "the light just dawned" manner. And then he said an even dumber thing.
"Where do I put it?"
Well you're the USA iv; where do you think you put it?
6 年 前
