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So, you want to hear about me?! You mat regret it! 💜💀💜

Well, my name is Emily and I'm 26 and live in DFW, Texas! I have been in the area all my life. Born and raised! Though, it wasn't the best or worst life. We all have ups and downs. Even if the downs outnumber the ups!

I was born not far from where I am living now. I am the middle of 3 sisters and a brother. And the worst black sheep of the bunch second to my sister, Jenny. Though, I am a lot darker and stranger than her. She's a bigger slut and bitch than me. Which isn't good! Trust me!

The younger years are foggy! With a full house I do remember lots of fighting between us all. Our home was very loud most the time. I do remember mom leaving for a little while when I was around 8 or so. Dad's drinking got even worse and he stopped paying attention to us. I remember trying to get his attention however I could. But, my siblings and eye usually just ended up in trouble for doing something stupid.

My mom did eventually come back and things got better for a couple of years. By the time I was a teen things where back to normal. Only, I had started discovering things I shouldn't have! With my siblings all being hard to handle in thier own ways, I learn how to get sneaky. They always had our parents attention on them. Which made it easy for me to sneak out and do stupid teenage stuff! Drugs, sex and parting became my biggest goal in life. It wasn't long before my parents started looking in my direction.

I wasn't the best kid. I was in trouble from middle school on! Always something! High school it only got worse. I wasn't like, arrested or taken to jail! But, I have been in cuffs and in the back of a car a couple of times. School wanted to kick me out once or twice. But, after being in so much trouble that I was 17 and only in 10th grade I finally gave up. Yes, I am a 10th grade dropout! During all that I became depressed and went through a cutting phase. One that rolled over into my darker sexual desires where pain and pleasure are the same. Got the scares to prove it! I will never be perfect again! But, I am done with anything that scares! Selfinflicted or in the search for pleasure!

By the time I was 18 I was living out of my car still getting fucked up and parting any chance I got! I bounced from job to job because of it! Hard to keep a job when you don't show up or show up fucked up and do stupid shit. My relationships weren't much different. Could hold one of those down either.

While I did start trying to work on myself, I never made it very far! Even when I got off most the drugs! A couple of years back I met a guy and though I had found something I did think could be real. And yes, it was a Dom\sub relationship that pulled me in! We married quick! Then his intrest was starting to fade away and I became more housewife than slave. So, we started bringing others into our play. Mostly other females. And, most of them only enjoyed teasing and tormenting me. In the end, it backfired on me!

By the last half of our marriage I had become a fulltime slave. More like, fulltime hostage kink toy! And, I fucking loved it! Public or private I was held and made to feel helpless! Rather I was locked, chained or bound at home! Or, in a public situation wearing a shock collar, bondage or much worse! I was always helpless to escape! Then came Darla!

Darla was the blonde me and my ex played with before. He was obsessed with her and I can see why! She was perfect in every way. Just not to smart! Towards the end she only wanted him and would only punish and confine me to turn him on and get me out of the way. Before lomg I would end up locked in the close or chained or cage out back or in the garage! It became him and her while I was pushed out. Before long I spent more time locked up while he was with here than anything else. The only fun I would have was when he would left his friends take me or torment me. Wasn't very often though! Next thing I know, he comes to me with divorce papers and making me sign them.

While it was rough and I never thought I would stop crying. I did realise that I wasn't really in love with him as much as the sexual slavery side. I think love and marriage was a total waste of time. And very much the issue in all failed relationships. Now, I know what I want and that I may never find it! I don't want love! I don't want romance! I don't want respect! I don't want to be a housewife! I don't want wealth! All I need is to trust I will not be killed or seriously injured with maybe a few limits! I want to be held as a hostage or captive sex toy to be used, tormented, punished and even shared, exposed, degraded and humiliated! As scary as that sounds! But first, I need to work on me! Which has become very lonely at times. Though, I have found was of dealing with what can only be explained as a hug sexual addiction for bdsm type things. Self-bondage for example! It's gotten out of hands a couple of times!

As for now, I am doing better and finally making it on my own for the first time in my life. With a lot of luck and help! I have held down a steady job for several months now and work another part-time job off and on. I will never be rich, but it will do for now! Thanks to find about a hell of a deal I have my own home. It is a fixer uper but the rent is cheap! I met an old man that has an old farm and was thinking about selling off a corner of it where a small home set for his old ranch hands. If made me a deal! I got it for really cheap if I helped him fix it up! So, every now and then I try and do a little more. He helps me buy all the important stuff. And, if I don't know how to do it him and his father comes and helps! His father gets around way better than he should for his age! But, the place is coming together. And, if I decide I want to buy the place he has said he would work out a good deal!

All and all! This may not be as satisfying as I would like! But, I think I can do it! I am off the drugs and staying out of trouble for the most part! I only smoke weed and drank now! I try to stay home when I do! Besides a few slip ups I have been able to keep my head straight. But, there is something missing that I will always need. I just have to do me and maybe in a year or two I will start looking for a new collar. Until then! A lot of porn and naughty alone time it is. Part of why I started this profile!

So, that's my life summed up! Ups! Downs! And stupid choices with many more to come in the future I'm sure!