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I made an alternate account a year or two ago for when I was ready to start uploading again. I'm ready to start uploading again. https://xhamster.com/user/jizz_on_zoey Uploads will be password protected. A pain in the ass, I know, but the alternative is droves of deleted vids and the inevitable loss of uploading privileges. 23 sk**oo. Hold the sk**oo.… 阅读更多内容

I have very few members blocked but for those who are, here's why: You identified by name actors in my uploads. You have no avatar, no uploads, no comments, no friends, and you repeatedly asked for my locked vids/galleries password. You are an insufferable ass.… 阅读更多内容

Ur: A southern province of ancient Mesopotamia. Birthplace of Abraham. You're an ignorant lazy baboon.… 阅读更多内容

Jerk: Noun. Rude and abusive registered member of XRMXX. Thinks his or her shit doesn't stink. Very often seen heaping abuse and/or ridicule on the profile pages of Hamsters. Likes to impose elaborate rules and regulations for others to follow. The harder to follow, the better. Hamster: Noun. A registered member of XRMXX without avatar, uploads, galleries, and very often, without even displayed favorites or any comments. Target of choice for Jerks. Likes to collect friends. The more friends collected, the better. Now, I can understand that few here wish to befrien… 阅读更多内容

You are my Goddess to serve. I am the worthy High Priest of Your Cult. Your face is the altar upon which I would place my offering, would You but allow it. Accept my offering as the worship that it is. That is why I wish to cum on Your face. Not to demean or debase, but to honor. The Ten (10) Commandments of Cumming on Her Face 1. Thou shalt not gag thy Goddess. 2. Thou shalt not skull-fuck thy Goddess like ye are a mindless b**st of the wilderness. 3. Thou shalt not spew obscenities at Her. 4. Thou shalt not strike… 阅读更多内容

Holy moley, Rocky! I feel so inadequate with a faves collection of stuff I really think is fapworthy that is only a slender 9 pages long. A mere 360 odd clips. Yes, I've only been here a couple of months, but so few faves suggests that I am porn-challenged compared to those worthies with 500+ pages of faves. I feel like a 97 lb. weakling on a Baltic Sea beach crawling with Nordic Aryan Supermen. Of course, I like to think that others with similar tastes to mine would rather peruse a dozen or so pages of clips in order to quickly find a gem or golden nugget to sate their immediate urge to ru… 阅读更多内容

So I uploaded a Femdom vid. Not my usual cup-of-porn but it was fairly mild (by Femdom standards) so I uploaded it for the sake of the partisans of that sort of thing. I added a clever description too - Femdom Bitch forced [f-o-r-c-e-d] me to upload this shit I hate! Well, the Reviewers edited my description to read: Femdom Bitch MADE me to upload this shit I hate! "MADE ME TO UPLOAD?!?" WTF?!? Okay, having included a word in the description that is routinely censored around here, yes, do your job and edit my description. But as you do so, don't just replace the ce… 阅读更多内容

Professor Porn's Porn Truisms Volume I ***** Cries of "Don't cum in my face/eyes/hair/mouth" invariably lead to cum in the face/eyes/hair/mouth. ***** The more grunting, bellowing, hollering and carrying-on the guy does as he cums, the weaker the moneyshot. ***** If the guy(s) wear underwear, it's Japanese porn. ***** If the girl(s) wear nothing, it's NOT Japanese porn. ***** If you CAN jerk off to it, it's porn. ***** If you CAN'T jerk off to it, it's either Hillary Clinton or Rosie O'Donnell.… 阅读更多内容